Carrying the pregnancy full term meant that I would be taken off my medication
Having my abortion was the easiest and most difficult decision I have ever had to make. I was raised in an extremely Catholic family and was always told and made to feel that abortion is a mortal sin. When I found out that I was pregnant at 23, I felt such a range of emotions. I knew right away that I was not ready to be a mother, and my boyfriend at the time felt the same way. In addition, I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder and was prescribed different medications to stabilize my moods. Carrying the pregnancy full term meant that I would be taken off my medication and face the possibility of bearing a stillborn or a child with severe deformities, all while compromising my mental and physical health.
At the same time, I felt extremely guilty about my decision. I felt disconnected from my family and my religion. I felt afraid, scared, and ashamed. It made me sad that I could not confide in nor find support from my parents. They still have no idea. I am lucky to have had the support from my then boyfriend, a few close friends, and Planned Parenthood.
I had my abortion at 11 weeks. I did not look at the ultrasound. The nurse held my hand during the procedure and hugged me when I cried. It’s been 10 years and I do not regret my decision at all.
For all the women who are no longer able to access abortion services in Texas, stay strong, be safe, and don’t lose hope.
If you are Catholic or believe in God, trust in His love. Know that it’s OKAY and that you are okay.
If it’s not okay, it’s not over.
