I wish I could write an empowering story but I can’t. I’m simply devastated.
My abortion is scheduled for next week. I made my decision but the feeling inside my stomach hurts my soul. I’m hungry, I’m dizzy, I feel sick, I can’t eat and so on. I feel the development and that’s what hurts me.
But at the same time that hurt can’t be the reason to bring a baby into an unhealthy relationship.
The minute he knew I was pregnant, he turned into a stressed, angry, disrespectful maniac.
This is him: His father used to beat his mother (and he says she deserved it), he abused drugs until a few month ago, he constantly calls me names when we have disagreements and he physically assaulted me twice, he’s extremely negative, he’s very hurtful, he blames everything on his childhood saying things like: “I used to be disrespectful when I was a child and i still am! that’s just how I am, accept it!
And now that I’m pregnant, everything’s worse.
He called me disgusting, inhuman, unworthy of being a mother or a wife.
So I faked it. I said I had a miscarriage and then he suddenly changed again and called me all types of sweet words and that he loves me.
I want this baby. But I don’t want him to mentally and or physically abuse my child. I also want my child to grow up with two loving parents, who communicate respectfully and raise their kids by being good examples.
I could never have children with him. He needs therapy and I need the strength for next week. He’s the only but most significant reason for my decision.
No child should have a devil as a hero. I wish things could’ve been different.
