Hyperemesis gravidarum, a term I hated and disgusted but outlived in my first pregnancy, won over me in my second pregnancy. It was a beautiful one month I got to spend with my little embryo, the first month went by being unaware of pregnancy mainly due to lack of HG symptoms. I terminated mine after an approx 10 day fight with HG. I was sure at one night if there weren’t people around me I would have hurt myself, I totally forgot about my first kid, who meant the world to me.
Having gone through a big loss…. loss of my beloved father shortly before, I was totally devastated. Having thought of my second pregnancy as my relief and a chance to redeem life normally after the huge loss, it was mind-fogging yet a correct decision that I choose to end the pregnancy at 11 weeks.
As I think about it now which should have been my 12th week if continued, I feel heartwhelming grief and sorrow yet I pacify myself looking at my first kid, a 7yo boy, my life. Idk what the future has in for me, but this little 11 week old baby will forever etched and live in my heart. I hope god should end this HG which I wouldn’t wish even on my worst enemy.
