He Had A Vasectomy

by Lori

November 14, 2018

My ex-husband left me with two young children with autism.  I was forty.  Forty!  Forty with two young children with high needs and no career because my career was meeting my children’s needs.  I was terrified.  I met someone.  He had a vasectomy.  I know because I was there when he had it.  He was supposed to go back and, you know, make sure it worked. His doctor said that there is a next to zero failure rate.  We had sex before he want back.  Of course, as with all things me and statistics, the vasectomy failed and I got pregnant.   I was terrified.  I had two young kids, he had three young kids.   It was a nightmare.  I went from being a married woman with resources to single and no resources.  My days were spent taking my kids to appointments–OT, PT, ABA, ST (I’d write what these letters represent but, no.  If you have a kid with autism you’ll know). I had a very unsympathetic but wealthy ex who my friends coined “dickhead”. He thought the autism was a farce somehow caused by me.  Forty!  Two kids with autism. I had an abortion.  And because statistics don’t apply to me, I had to go back for a second procedure because the first one… well, it was like the vasectomy.  It didn’t completely take.   I told my “best” friend what happened.  My friend whose husband makes $200,000 a year.  I was shamed.  Really?  You buy organic toilet paper at Whole Foods and yet you judge?   I went back to school.  Got my masters.  I’m able to support myself and the now adult kids . .. barely.

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