Guilt Ridden

by Anonymous

November 12, 2020

I thought I have forgiven myself for the decision I made less than a year ago. I thought I said goodbye to that life I could have had and made peace with the fact that the decision I made was the right one, no matter how hard it was to make. I still feel sorrow from time to time over what could have been, but I ultimately feel that I made the right choice. I have been able to buy a new car like I wanted, save up more to move out on my own and then some. I knew my limits and I know I would not have been able to be the mother I wanted to be. But lately, with the election going on, those who are closest to me are voicing their opinion on people’s rights to have an abortion. Of course none of them know that they know someone who has had an abortion. I could never stomach telling them after hearing the things they say about those who make the decision to have an abortion. I have to remind myself that the decision I made does not define me, it does not control my life, and I should not and will not be ashamed. Some days are harder than others when I do wonder if they would still love me and treat me the same if they knew. I am thankful to have found an online community that does not judge me. I still forgive myself, I am proud of myself. I cannot wait until I am ready to be a mother because I know that when I am ready, I will be a great one.

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