I was 16 and a virgin. I didn’t even know I actually had sex, I thought it was his fingers. Afterward, I couldn’t walk normally without pain, so I knew something was wrong but was too uncomfortable to tell anyone. Not until a missed period did I decide to take a pregnancy test and confirm my biggest fear. I’ve subconsciously chosen not to remember many things in my life but I distinctly remember falling to the bathroom floor and crying my terrified hormone filled teenage eyes out like it was yesterday. I grew up instantly.
My first doctor visit to get confirmation of my pregnancy ended up being a religion based healthcare center behind the scenes. The minute they got me in a room alone, they started showing me pictures of what my baby supposedly looked like at the (about) 10 week stage of pregnancy I was in, and specifically that my baby had fingernails.
I’m lucky to have an incredibly supportive mother who encouraged me to make my decision based on what was best for me. I’m lucky to have been in a country, state, and city that allowed ease of an abortion within a 30 minute drive. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to walk past a single pro-life protester with large posters of bloody fetuses. .
These are the flowers I bought myself for Mother’s Day this year. I would have had a 14 year old, at the age of 30. Who knows in what rollercoaster we’d be living in. Instead, I’ve graduated high school and college, developed intimate relationships, lived in the Netherlands and England as an au pair with an incredible family, grown a successful career, completed a dream of yoga teacher training, moved to a new city alongside the best partner I could have asked for, traveled and explored so many wondrous places, started to develop the roots of my own self love, and hopefully helped a few others along the way.
As with anyone, of course I’ve also made plenty of “mistakes”. Although I’m working through these, I have never regretted getting an abortion. This was my first of two.
Women deserve the option to choose what’s best for themselves. Let them be.
