Grateful for the right to choose

by Kristene

January 7, 2022

When I was 16 years old, I got pregnant with my high school love. I was confused but also thought if I kept the baby that would somehow make him better to me. I left my test results on my bed and my mother found them. Hindsight, I probably hoped she would. She, of course, encouraged abortion because I was 16 & because of who the father was. I went through the motions and had one, it almost felt robotic, I wouldn’t let myself feel what was really happening. The night of my abortion, the boyfriend was MIA – well, he was out with another girl – when he said he’d be there. I needed no further proof that I made the best choice for both myself and the baby.

Now, as a 45 year old woman who’s worked through the trauma in my life. I now see what a selfless act that was for my Mom. That abortion wasn’t just about me, it was about my family. That boyfriend was incredibly abusive, both physically and emotionally.  At 16, I did not have the emotional maturity to recognize that a baby was not going to make him love me and stop hurting me. It wasn’t going to make him faithful, it wasn’t going to make him a good human. And I can’t imagine the life that child, who didn’t deserve any of it, would have had.

I didn’t let myself feel it at the time or maybe wasn’t mature enough to understand the gravity of it. But. I’m grateful everyday that I had my Mom there for me and that I had the right to choose. I live a happy full life, I have amazing daughters because I had the opportunity to learn my worth and raise them so that they know theirs. I’m now proud of my decision that I made at 16 years old. And I’m eternally grateful that abortion was an option for me and that I had judgement free (with exception to the protesters) support.

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