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Grateful for the power to choose

by Anonymous

November 5, 2018

Content Warning: abuse

Three days after my 23rd birthday, I had an abortion. I was dating someone at the time who was very mentally abusive but would constantly blame his mental abuse on his traumatic brain injury, so I always thought by staying I was being strong and doing the right thing. He has already had 1 child to another person and when he found out I was pregnant he flipped out like I was the only cause of it. From the moment I learned I was pregnant I was filled with dread, disappointment, and depression. The whole 10 weeks I was pregnant I was so sick everyday and my parents were also afraid for me because they did not like the person I was dating. I kept trying to force myself to get used to the idea of having a baby, but I could not force it… both of my parents were super supportive when I told them I wanted to have an abortion. I was terrified when the day came and after I felt confused and it took a little over a year for me to deal with all of the emotions I felt. But now, every single day that goes by I am so grateful for that choice. When I was pregnant I kept thinking “what kind of life will this be for me and this child to have a baby dad/father that is so horrible? He’s never there for the kid he has now & he would be stuck in my life in a way until one of us dies.” He’s been out of my life for over 3 years now and my life is slowing coming together. I know I will be a good mom someday, but I want to be able to provide a good life for my children and I want them to have a good man as their dad. We need to always allow women to have a choice.

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