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Grasping at straws

by Misty Lee

July 5, 2019

I had just graduated nursing school, moved to Texas from Philadelphia, and started working on a Med-Surg/Telemetry floor. I had also just watched the man I loved sent to prison for 4 years after a long, almost 2 year, legal battle.  I was running away from everything and towards anything to forget about how I felt.  My first year in Texas saw a lot of trouble and poor decisions that I am lucky to have survived, including one of many very toxic relationships that ended up with me in a bathroom staring blankly at a positive pregnancy test.  All I could think about was how broken I was, how unhealthy my relationship was, and ultimately how we we’re possibly the last two people on earth who should be starting a family together.  I told my roommate/best friend and she agreed to come with me to the clinic, which was over 2 hours away. That day (and the next few after) was one of the hardest of my life. The emotions, pain, and judgment were so much to bear, however, I have never regretted the decision I made. As devastating as it was, I thank god I had choices, and I made the best one I could for the life growing inside of me, because that’s what real mothers do.

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