I went camping last year (2018), with my husband and two kids. Guess what happens when both kids nap during the afternoon and you actually get to spend time with your spouse? You can get naked in a sleeping bag or the back of the car. I did not plan to get busy while camping so did not think about bringing condoms. We’ve used the pull out method before, granted it’s been a while and an entire pregnancy ago, but we never had a problem with it failing. I didn’t really give it a second thought.
Until I got home and unpacked, got back into my routine and realized my period was late. So I peed on some three year old probably expired tests, and they started popping up double lines. I text my husband that we need to talk, a phrase I’ve never used being the bluntly acidic person I usually am, so he knows something is seriously up. He texts back almost immediately, which is unusual for him at work, and I sent him a picture. He was in disbelief and came home to hold me while I had a breakdown and bawled my eyes out all over him.
My last pregnancy involved shoulder dystocia and some NICU shit I would never want to repeat in my life, nor do I ever want to be cut open while awake just to have a 6 week recovery time with two kids underfoot. Pregnancy made me want to murder people and delivery could have killed either of me and my kids. So after much crying and debating off I went to planned parenthood for a medication abortion. They do all of their necessary stuff, make sure i’m not being forced and have someone to help me cope blah blah blah. They have to do a dating scan to make sure I’m not too far along and that there’s no risk of it being tubal. They find an empty eggsack, and tell me that it looks like a miscarriage/blighted ovum/early pregnancy so I need to come back in two weeks.
of course I wasn’t going to miscarry during that time, why would I be that lucky? Miscarrying the one I wanted years prior was my body’s idea of a good time. That was just a precaution on their part. I came back in after two weeks, now at 8+ weeks pregnant, throwing up from morning sickness and miserable, i’ve hidden it from my friends and family and i’m ready for this to be over. They do another dating scan and i’m measuring 6.5/7 weeks roughly and they can proceed with the medication portion. I take one pill in office, the one that actually stops the progression of pregnancy. I hit the pharmacy for the other four pills and head home to netflix and chill my incoming shit weekend away.
I start bleeding naturally, before I take the medication that will cause the cramping that helps jet expel the uterine contents out like a bad spell from harry potter. I text my husband and he comes home from work a bit early to watch the kids. I climb in bed with a heating pad and mistakenly bought scented pads the size of underwear. It.Was.Hell. I have no pain tolerance and it felt like the worst period ever, complete with period shits and gas, combined with afterbirth size clots. Lime sized blobs of bloody gunk. They give you anti-nausea medication and thank goodness because I wanted to throw up more than once, both from pain and the blood in my pad. I took a hot shower during the worst of it and cried where no one could hear. Thankfully the pain stopped after a few hours and it became a normal period like experience after the worst of the clots had passed.
I had tons of random sex, without keeping track of my cycle, before I got pregnant with my first kid. I got pregnant first try, while cycle tracking, with both my miscarriage and my second child. I got pregnant on accident, period tracking, using the pull out method. Do Not Rely On The Pull Out Method Kids, It Does Not Work. I’m getting sterilized as soon as possible this year and if necessary I would have another abortion between now and whenever it happens. I refuse to have sex without condoms now though so it shouldn’t be a problem. knock on wood.
