I’d always been grateful that abortion was something that was available. But obviously something I’d never need. I was careful. I was good.
But I never knew how grateful I was about living in a society with legalised abortion until I saw those two lines. And dissolved into tremors. And fear. And disgust. For me being pregnant felt like being raped 24 hours a day. Being controlled. Being consumed. My body was not my own. I had something within me that did not belong. That was not wanted.
I’d made the decision long ago that if I was in this position that I would get an abortion. I already had two kids. I had no more room, or money, or time, or energy, or even love. The decision was easy. Making it a reality was a lot harder than it should have been.
My sister in law and best friend have both had abortions. It’s so common but we don’t talk about it. And when we do get to talk about it it’s always with the tone of regret. But I don’t regret it. I never will. I’m so grateful. So so grateful for safe abortions. For care and consideration if not easily gotten.
I’m so happy I had that option. Had that choice. The choice countless women before me were denied.
I still remember when my due date would have been. Still remember the child that might have been. Wondered who they would have become. What they might have been. Who they might have looked like.
But I don’t regret my decision for one second.
And the true crime is in people who think that their opinion matters more than others’ choice.
