I’m 31, no children-married 6 months to the love of my life. We moved into our home 4 months ago. I had went off my birth control 5 months ago with the intention to get pregnant, because that’s what you’re supposed to do at 31 right? Get married, get a house, have babies. Well as the months passed, I realized I am far from ready to be a mom. I want more time with my husband, the house is expensive, I have suffered with anxiety for 16 years and I’m not ready to go 9 months without my medication, etc. Shortly after realizing this, I found out I was pregnant. I never felt one moment of joy, just panic. My husband (after hours of sitting with me holding me while I was screaming and crying) said “you realize we don’t have to do this right?” It felt like someone threw me a life jacket.
We went to planned parenthood 3 days later and decided after speaking to the incredible people there a surgical termination was our best option. That meant having to wait three weeks (which was agonizing) the day came and I threw up that morning from nerves. When my husband and I walked into the center, protestors screamed “you’re committing a murder the week before Christmas.” I felt very lucky the woman at PP had warned us that could happen and was able to just blow it off. Everyone in the office was so lovely and helpful, it was truly the best medical care experience I’ve ever had. The actual procedure was so quick, I was shocked. I felt very lucky to have the sweet woman from my first appointment hold my hand and when it was over I asked her was I really no longer pregnant? She said yes and I felt the most overwhelming relief. No one judged me there, everyone was just full of love and support. This was on Friday and it’s now Sunday. I’ve only bled a little bit and feel basically fine, my hormones feel a little off but that’s really the only side effect.
I wanted to share my story right away because reading these stories was what calmed me in the weeks leading up to my procedure. Maybe in a few years I’ll be ready to have kids; maybe not. Either way, I am proud I made the right decision for me. I truly encourage anyone who knows that they shouldn’t go through with a pregnancy to listen to their heart. Don’t think you have to do something because society has made it seem that’s what you’re supposed to do. I wish anyone who reads this who is about to go through this, has the same angels at PP that I did.
