Despite this, I’m now able to talk openly about my abortion. It doesn’t define me, but it’s a part of my story.
At 19, fresh out of my parents’ house and dating my first boyfriend, I moved in with my best friend, someone I’d known since second grade. Our relationship seemed perfect. It all began on Mother’s Day when I went to pick up a card for my mom. I realized I was late—my period hadn’t come. Despite being on birth control, my male doctor hadn’t given me proper instructions, and I was careless. I decided to take a pregnancy test right there in the grocery store bathroom. It was positive. Shocked, I called my best friend, who advised me to tell my boyfriend and assured me things would be okay.
I delivered the Mother’s Day card to my mom, trying to hide my turmoil. Back home, I called my boyfriend and asked him to come over. He was incredibly supportive, promising to stand by me no matter what I decided. I told him I wasn’t ready to be a mother. Despite my experience with kids as a nanny, I was still just 19, and I hadn’t lived my life yet. We spent the rest of the day at a park, feeding ducks and absorbing the shock together. It was a bonding moment amidst the chaos.
As the days passed, my best friend told her mother and sister about my pregnancy, which spread to others. It felt like a betrayal. When I had my abortion, she distanced herself, offering minimal support. Thankfully, my boyfriend was there for me, taking time off work to care for me. Without him, I don’t know how I would have coped.
After the abortion, my relationship with my best friend deteriorated. She became disrespectful and started stealing my things. I decided to move out while she was at work. She was furious and texted my parents about the abortion. My parents were devastated. Initially, I denied it but eventually confessed. They slut-shamed me, especially my mom, who felt robbed of being a grandmother and supporting me. It hurt deeply, but I believed it was my decision, not theirs.
Three years later, my relationship with my parents is still healing. My dad has come to understand and accept my choice, but my mom remains hurt. She looks at me differently. Despite this, I’m now able to talk openly about my abortion. It doesn’t define me, but it’s a part of my story. Women need to discuss these experiences more openly, supporting each other through such significant, stressful decisions.
At 22, I still live with the boyfriend who stood by me. We hope to marry one day. That unexpected pregnancy and the abortion brought us closer than ever. He’s my best friend and my rock. If anyone is struggling with their choice, know that it gets easier with time.