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Doing what I did was hard and was a learning lesson but I am a strong woman with a strong mindset.

by Casie

January 2, 2018

I am 22 and I got pregnant. I was 6 weeks pregnant when I tested positive on the test. When I called my boyfriend and sister to the room and showed them the positive test they didn’t discourage me in any way. They were both off the bat very open that whatever I chose, they will support me. Financially I knew it wouldn’t be a problem, I was planning on marrying my boyfriend, and I had all the support in the world. But..I simply wasn’t ready and my boyfriend totally understood.

 

My boyfriend has a baby from another girl so he already has experience with a kid. You would think someone with a kid would be very negative about terminating my pregnancy but he totally understood. My boyfriend handled this situation very well. He wanted me to move in an settle down if I kept him/her but he understood how much work and overhead it is to have a kid. He knew I had a lot going on with my life at the moment and I felt the same way. I am finishing the last 3 quarters of college, overloading on classes and on scholarship to run track and field. Also on a semi pro basketball team which I am planning on going overseas. I travel a lot and live in a living room in another state from my boyfriend. Long story short I had a lot going on in my life and I didn’t want it to get ripped away from a kid.

 

I already had a pregnancy scare and told my coach because I was very nervous at the time and she got on my ass to be safe and get on a birth control. 2 months later, I obviously didn’t listen and I got pregnant. Last thing I wanted to do was admit to her and my semi pro basketball coach that I am pregnant and can’t participate. Last thing I wanted to do is disappoint myself. I’ve had quite a few teammates who had kids and still continued with their sports and were successful and I appreciate what they did. I’m at the end of my college career where if I have a kid, my scholarship will get ripped & will not be able to play ball overseas. I knew that anything was possible and that I could accomplish everything going on. I could’ve followed through and carry out with a kid but I was being realistic with myself and knew that if I had a kid, I was going to settle down and give it everything I got. In other words, not finish school as planned.

 

My kid deserves the best, to be planned and have mother that is ready to sacrifice everything and do everything for him or her. My parents planned to have me and because of that, she made sure she wasn’t drinking alcohol, coffee or eating anything bad during her pregnancy. I already have drank a lot of coffee and haven’t taken any prenatals. Also been in the sauna, hot tub and been working out intensely. I got my wisdom teeth pulled, got anesthesia and pain killers. I also was working in a warehouse breathing lots of chemicals, paint and dust. I was doing all of this unknowingly that I was pregnant and my kid doesn’t deserve that..

 

So less than an hour after finding out I was pregnant, we decided not to keep it. I scheduled a surgical appointment to terminate the baby the next day. I cried that night. I cried when I drove there. As soon as I got there, I saw protestors with large posters. Great way to start. Once I entered planned parenthood, my whole experience went great. I did the surgical removal and didn’t cramp as bad as I thought I would. I got on a birth control and learned my lesson the hard way. My overall feelings of getting an abortion is numb. Meaning I don’t feel good or bad. It’s as bad as you make it & I am choosing to make this an experience I can grow from.

 

Doing what I did was hard and was a learning lesson but I am a strong woman with a strong mindset. I will have 3 kids in the future and they will have an amazing mother. My boyfriend wants to start a family with me one day. Because I made this decision, I feel obligated to finish school strong, to create a good career for myself, to live up to my potentials in sports. I am motivated to become the woman I want to be. I am motivated to become ready next time. Because what happened that day at the clinic is not happening again. When I have kids, I will be ready and I will give them the world.

 

Because of shout your abortion I’ve watched and read many stories of women who have enlightened me and made me feel like I’m not the only one going though this. It is hard to go through but you should never feel any less for your decision. Many women end up happy and have kids in the future. In the end it is all about your perspective and happiness. I’ve seen women who kept the kid and it was the best thing in their life and I’ve also seen women who chose not to keep it was the best decision for them. Everyone will make a decision for a reason, and that reason shouldn’t make you feel any less of a woman.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!