I’ve been thinking a lot about my abortion experience (medical, 6 weeks), which was almost a year ago now. After listening to some people share their experiences in online videos and reading some other perspectives I’ve realized some things, and I feel like at this point I need to say I am not a “victim of abortion”. This seems like a strange term to me because my opinion is that abortion is a choice that I was privileged enough to have available. I know people may be victims of assault or trauma or have been victimized by other people. I can imagine that if abortion is a choice that someone is pressuring you to make then you could become a victim of that circumstance. For me, it’s really important to own my abortion.
I also own my relief, which comes from being able to keep my job and my marriage intact because of abortion. I have chosen my and my husband’s mental and physical health for now, with a plan to choose to have a baby when we are ready to manage that in addition to our very real present needs. It was hurtful to hear from pro-life advocates that people choose to terminate a pregnancy because they feel like victims or because they are uneducated about the medical facts of abortion. I am thankful that the medical staff and support staff at Planned Parenthood gave me plentiful resources to read and talk about before and during my visit there. It seems incredibly damaging to label folks who choose abortion as naive or uneducated or selfish. Or victims.
Until I was faced with the choice to terminate a pregnancy or keep it I didn’t fully understand the ripple effects it could have on my family. I wish that others who share their stance on abortion would consider that the choice involves two people that create a pregnancy and a potential child. I believe that a woman has the ultimate choice over her body and that her partner has an important perspective that should be factored in just like the welfare of the potential child.
