I sensed I was pregnant but did not want to believe it. My breasts got heavy and started having unbelievable cramps. I took a test and saw it was positive. I panicked and instantly called my best friend. She started scheduling my appointment while I was in tears thinking about my actions.
The man I was with was not my boyfriend but just someone I was talking to. He owed me nothing. I told him and he went silent. He didn’t know what to say because he’d been in that situation before, but the person was lying all along. This time it was real. He promised to stand by me and support me but it was too good to be true.
We’d previously had talks about “what if I got pregnant” and I used to make jokes about it to lighten the mood, yet he didn’t see my jokes as funny. The pressure and seriousness in his eyes pressured me to go forward with my abortion and I told him I felt he took my individual sense of personal choice away from me! He indirectly didn’t allow me to make my own choice! After I told him he changed. He didn’t speak to me as much he didn’t support me emotionally. It was just all me.
What did I expect from someone who really and truly didn’t owe me anything? I cried every night hurt. He promised to be there for me but failed to keep it. I was disappointed because I least expected it from him. I was alone. Yes I struggled to do it but I overcame it. I prayed every night and spoke to my friends who I felt understood me even though they hadn’t been through it.
Times will get tough. Especially doing it alone. But remember you are not alone. Speak to someone. A friend, a counsellor, a helpline – there’s someone out there who will listen to you. Speak up. Let your voice be heard!
