Depressed and alone

I was 36 yrs. old with a 17 yr. old child from my first marriage. I never thought I would be pregnant again.  I was with my boyfriend for about 6 mts when I found out I was pregnant, we were already fighting frequently over the dumbest things, I knew I couldn’t possibly spend my life with this man.  Every day I became more and more depressed and I fell into a hole I couldn’t get out of. I wanted to die; I was crying alone in my bathroom so my son wouldn’t hear. My BF had abandoned me emotionally and I felt utterly hopeless.  I couldn’t bear to be a single mom again; I had already been a single mom for the past 10 yrs. due to the death of my husband.  I decided to get an abortion, it was a tough decision to make, but at the end of the day I felt to carry on with a pregnancy I wasn’t sure I wanted and my mental wellbeing it was for the best.