I never imagined that I would need to decide if I was going to choose life, or not. These things didn’t cross my mind while we were trying to conceive.

I have been called an “irresponsible person who murdered their children,” but all I can see is a mother who made her most difficult parenting decisions in times of crisis.

Have you ever heard of Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG)? I hadn’t until I experienced my pregnancies. It happens in 1-2% of pregnancies. Dehydration, excessive vomiting (sometimes uncontrollable), constant nausea and dizziness, weight loss, malnutrition, sensitivity to light, sound, smell and touch, aversions to foods and water…the list goes on…

As I excessively vomited, unable to consume food or drink each day, I felt the weight of death on me and my unborn child. Medical interventions were failing us. I was facing a decision I never thought I would be making, terminate or die.

I was damned if I did, and damned if I didn’t. A life altering choice stood before me because I was the best person to make that decision.

The sickness suffering was immense, but so were the decisions to abort. Would I stay for my born-children, or would I go with my unborn?

I chose abortion.

I chose life.

If you ever find yourself needing an abortion, for whatever reasons, I stand with you.

Sending you all my love,

Ja’Nai Wilkes, HG Survivor and Peer Support