I thought all I would feel is relief. But I feel sadness too.
I made the decision with the support of my parents and my partner to end a pregnancy earlier this month. We are not financially stable or in a position to provide for another person. I am also progressing within my career and, while I know it’s wrong and shouldn’t be a concern, I was worried having a baby at this point would affect my career options going forward. I want to be in the best possible position to provide for our family and to allow them to feel settled and secure, like I did when I was younger.
Up until the pregnancy passed, I was very pragmatic and detached from the entire situation. I approached it a very emotionless and clinical way. Nobody warned me about the grief and loss I would feel afterwards. I have cried every day since and it’s so confusing and overwhelming. I have no regrets whatsoever. I don’t feel guilty because I truly believe people are entitled to decide what happens to their body. But I thought all I would feel is relief. But I feel sadness too.
I’m still trying to make sense of these feelings but I am reassured in the knowledge that it was the right thing to do for myself and my relationship with my partner. I am so grateful to be able to make this choice.
