We had literally had sex ONE TIME the previous month.
I thought the choice would be harder, but it wasn’t. It was immediate.
My period was almost 2 weeks late, but I really wasn’t expecting this to happen. I’ve been off birth control for a few years due to hormonal reasons. This would sometimes mess with my period; I was used to it. I took the test as more of a precaution. I won’t say never in a million years, BUT at least never in 999,999 years did I expect it to be positive.
My first thought was, “Maybe I peed on it upside down.”
My second was, “How do I get an abortion?”
I told my partner I wanted to take a drive to the drugstore – I wanted to get a second test. He was in disbelief as well. We had literally had sex ONE TIME the previous month. But, sure enough, the second test was positive. As was the third.
So the next morning, I scheduled my abortion. I remember how weird it felt to say that – the reason I was calling – “I’d like to schedule an abortion.”
The people were wonderful, but the wait was not. I had to wait almost a month until my appointment. I had to sit there, knowing I was pregnant, FEELING pregnant, for a month. I felt strong in some ways, helpless in others. Empowered by my ability to choose & know what was right for me. Beaten down by the way my body felt like a stranger, constantly nauseous, exhausted, in pain.
But finally the day came. I was anxious. I was scared of the pain. I chose a surgical abortion so I could be done that day, leave knowing it was behind me. And it hurt – it’s different for everyone, but it hurt me. Yet the experience was nothing but positive. The people were so kind. The nurse held my hand the entire time. Everyone made me feel normal. And at the end, I got to come home to a support system I cherish.
Part of me is sad. Most of me is relieved. We can’t choose everything that happens to us in life. But we can choose how we deal with it. I am so grateful for that choice today.
