After it was all over I felt mostly relieved but I still sometimes get this feeling of shame over it.
It was back in March, I was 23 and in my last semester of college. I can’t take hormonal birth control because of a mood stabilizer I’m on. I had just gotten out of a relationship with someone I’d been seeing a few months so I went out and went on kind of a one night stand spree. Sometimes I used a condom, sometimes I didn’t. I still have no idea which guy got me pregnant. I noticed mostly that I was nauseous all the time but then I missed my period and I got a bit worried. I found out I was pregnant during my break at work. I’ve never wanted kids for a number of reasons but I especially wasn’t ready at that point. I took the medications instead of going the surgical route because I didn’t have anyone to drive me. I didn’t have the money to pay for it and couldn’t use insurance because I was still on my parents’ plan but I got really lucky because this guy I was seeing paid for it for me. I wasn’t really scared but I felt uneasy. After it was all over I felt mostly relieved but I still sometimes get this feeling of shame over it. It was a really easy decision for me to make, I knew as soon as I found out that I wouldn’t keep it and that the adoption route wasn’t right for me either. If I could go back I wouldn’t change my mind.
