Birth Trauma = Sheer Terror

by Anonymous

July 27, 2020

I was 28 when I had an abortion.

I had a perfect, strongwilled and magnificent daughter who had just turned 10 months old. I was still experiencing trauma from her birth and I had been changed fundamentally due to almost dying during our labour and birth. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to have another child – I feel too damaged and broken emotionally and physically from the previous trauma. When I found out I was pregnant, it was around Christmas time. I knew I didn’t want a surgical abortion as the idea of more surgery just frightened me, immensely. I got in touch with a foundation (TABBOT) which is sadly no longer running, and I organised a medical, at home termination. I am so lucky and privileged to live in a country where I could access this; but I didn’t tell anyone else except for my husband as I felt some shame – shame because I felt relief and that I wasn’t upset with my decision.

Things went well. I felt little to no pain, I didn’t experience any emotional distress and it solidified the fact that abortion is a part of healthcare that is necessary and normal.

I think about it from time to time and I’m starting to share my story. I am healing, and maybe one day I can try again.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!