Bipolar

I have been pregnant once before. I was about 23. Was with a longtime partner, and it was after I was told I would have trouble conceiving because of complications with my uterus. He was perfect but the timing wasn’t right, I was too young and still figuring myself out. I don’t regret my first abortion, if helped me go back to school, grow and learn who I am.

Now, 28. I have been recently diagnosed with bipolar 2. Part of my mania is promiscuous sex. Not just sleeping around, but being unsafe as well. So I finally start to feel better about my mental health and realize a bout of mania left me unexpectedly pregnant. About 6 weeks along and I have my abortion planned for next week.

Without a choice I would be reminded of my bad mental state always. I would be reminded of every time I lost control and suffered because of it. I am in my second year of college, reinventing myself if you will. And although I’m happy to know that conceiving seems to be easier than I had once been told, I am not ready. Not for a child right now, and not for a child out of a manic episode with a stranger.

I have learned a lot, and attribute that to being able to make my own choices about my body.