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Beware the abuser

by Anonymous

April 8, 2019

I fell madly in love with my husband and while my family fully supported me, they made their reservations clear. Enamoured by him, I wanted to get married. I told him I’d be ready in 2019, his family and he demanded 2018. We gave in. How I wish we hadn’t. It’s a recurring story with them: his family (him included) think they’re great, big achievers because they’re in the UK, they put my family (myself included) down in every way possible and they are so egotistical it makes you want to wrench your guts out with your bare hands. He doesn’t have an undergraduate degree, puts me down for my education and curses and abuses my father for his achievements career-wise.

 

Three months in, I found out I’m six weeks three days pregnant. We’d taken all the precautions but turns out I’m the 1%. My husband and I decided to terminate the pregnancy. I wasn’t working, I’d just graduated from law school, I was waiting on my visa so I could stay with him, he didn’t earn enough to support a family. Needless to say, two days before the scheduled date, he changed his mind. He filed a complaint with social services for suspected domestic abuse by my father, informed his country’s consulate and the local cops in the city I live in. My father had a heart attack mere days before our wedding and he was in the CCU for a considerable amount of time after the wedding was over. I was beside myself with grief and fear. My aunt had passed away the day this complaint was lodged, my mom was traveling to the city the funeral was to take place, I was pregnant and alone with my father who is a heart patient. I didn’t sleep the entire night, praying no cops would come knocking.

 

After telling me he (husband) wouldn’t be informing his parents, my mother gets a call from his. His mother doesn’t want me to abort. My fury was palpable.

He claimed that I could abort if and only if I moved to his house (in a different country) within 14 days of receiving my visa, change my name to “expunge” my fathers (prior to marriage I’d made it clear that would never happen) and that our child and I would not be permitted near my father (who has literally done nothing) without supervision appointed by my husband. Husbands minimum wage, inability to look after himself, absolute disregard for my feelings, lack of respect for me and my family amounted to enough abuse for me to walk away (proverbially).

 

Filled with disgust, regret and sheer hatred for myself, I arm my story with a very common sentiment: only the woman has a right to decide her abortion. And I’m aborting.

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