Babies cost money

by Anonymous

August 17, 2022

I’ve always been pro choice, but I still never imagined I would be the 1 in 3. All the tracking and preventative measures in the world will still fail once, and that was enough.

I’ve always been paranoid about it. My mother got pregnant on birth control, as did several of my other relatives. Since I was 17 I’ve kept a massive stash of Plan B and early detection tests. So when my period is late, I always take three. It didn’t feel out of the ordinary at all for me to just check, but when there were two lines instead of one I felt my heart stop.

In that moment I realized that this couldn’t come to fruition. I want to be a mother, someday. I want to be the kind of mother who can provide for her child. Who can give them a better life than she lived. Isn’t that the goal? I knew this one would not experience that. I knew we would probably both die, considering my current health.

So right there in the bathroom I turned on a VPN, went to a private browser, and began my search. It hasn’t been long since Roe v Wade was overturned, and I was terrified this timing would condemn me to maternal death. Fortunately, my local government was working on my side and I immediately found several options. Since I found out shockingly quickly, I chose to take some medication at home to be as safe and comfortable as I wished. I am grateful. I am hurting. I am afraid.

I always thought I would support on the sidelines. Being in this moment, the sickness in the pit of my stomach as I faint at work and bleed from my nose, I know this is the decision that will save my life, and make a better one for the children I will have in the future.

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