by Z

November 25, 2019

You named yourself I know that sounds mad,

Arielle. My little lioness of God.

I knew you were a little girl,

With jet black hair like me

Blue eyes like Daddy.

I’m sorry sweetheart I couldn’t keep you.

I’m going through family court to try and get your half brothers back.

My monster of an ex would of had a field day if it became obvious you were there.

Growing inside me without a care in the world.

This year has been hell and my mental health fractured,

The hormones raged inside me with you growing and it made my fragile mind feel worse,

Baby girl I know you couldn’t help it but you made my head even more foggy.

I know you understand I need to get better because you love me and your half brothers.

I need to go forward in my job.

Get more settled.

More stable.

I love you little Arielle I always will do. My little girl I never held in my hands but always in my heart.


“Don’t worry mum, I still love you.” That internal voice I heard so sweet and innocent.

You taught me sometimes you have to do what’s right for yourself and confirmed once again this year,

love isn’t always black and white.


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