I was a young mum, two kids already and married when we found out we were expecting again after falling pregnant using one of the most “effective” birth control methods, that averages 99.6% efficiency…I was that 0.4%.

What to do … what to do…

Our youngest was medically complex with defects that had the potential (1:10) to affect another baby. I know I couldn’t handle another round of complex hospitals stays or more open heart surgeries. My health wasn’t the best, mentally and physically, and my previous pregnancies had been high risk.

WE made the decision to abort. We analyzed our socioeconomic standing, our health, our marriage, our wealth, our career goals/aspirations and those aspirations for our children and another mouth to feed would have hindered all those things.

The abortion experience was calm. No protests out the front of the clinic that day. A white clinical room with pleasant staff, safe and private places to divulge any atrocities that this pregnancy resulted from (which luckily for me wasn’t the case but did feel thankful this was offered to all women), free STD testing was offered, then I was taken back by the doctor. The pregnancy dated to seven weeks and four days (early enough that the heart defect in question wouldn’t even have formed yet that is how primitive the embryo was) and was sent to a room to change and wait.

My husband was ordered out to buy me breakfast, and I lay on the cold table whilst bundles of warm blankets were placed on me. I wasn’t sad. In life, you make tough decisions. To have had this baby would mean my husband and I were too immature to realize we couldn’t afford another baby, our marriage was fragile, our means were limited and to rely on others to fund and care for our child is wrong. So wrong. Adoption wasn’t an option.

Looking back at my experience two years later, I do not regret my experience. Our marriage is stronger than ever, my health is better, I have been able to advance my career and have returned to university to advance again. My husband was head hunted and works away nine months of the year and we are still paying off so much debt.

I had an abortion because it was the right thing to do. It’s not a debate, it’s raw and uncomfortable, but it happens and women should always have control over their lives and their bodies.