I am 19. I’m finishing high school, and I have a new boyfriend of just three months after leaving a toxic relationship a year ago. For the first time in my life, I’m actually worried about my period not coming. Its normal for me to be irregular, but its been a month.
One morning, I wake up and I feel really sick, but I brush it off. Three days of this and I take a test. Then two. Then three. I’m pregnant, the amount of weeks unknown. I told my best friend first, but she can’t help. She lives in a different country. I live in Canada. I have access here, but that depends on my ability to get to where I need to be. It’s still hard. It’s still expensive. The nearest place is a one hour drive, and I don’t have a vehicle.
I figured it was time to tell my boyfriend. I was terrified. Would he be angry? Upset? Sad? I was so scared I couldn’t even look at him. All he said to me was “tell me how much it costs. Its okay.” I cried and apologized a million times. I was sorry this was happening. That the money was being spent. He just kept telling me it wasn’t my fault, and that things happen. We stood there and he just held me in his arms.
I am okay with my decision. The choice was made before this even came to be. I don’t want kids. I’m not even in college yet. But without that support? Without the instant comfort and affirmation? I wouldn’t have been able to do it. I would have never even made it there.
