by Keelie

August 2, 2021

Say it louder for the people at the back: Abortion

Writing this blog resonates very closely with me as it is something that I have lived through and experienced. The word ‘abortion’ has such a stigma attached to it that even telling my story feels somewhat “wrong”  and that I am going to judged so hard, but, why is it such a bad thing?

Still in our era, it is mostly men in power who are deciding what we can and cannot do with our bodies for example most of the US state laws for banning or restricting access to abortions were voted on by all male politicians – why do these men feel the urge to police our bodies?

When I  was 21 years old in my first year of university studying for my Masters degree in Clinical neuroscience. I had found out that I was 2 weeks pregnant and I remember I was feeling so many different emotions but they all boiled down to the fact that I knew I was not ready for this stage of my life and I would not be able to provide if I went through with the pregnancy. My partner was there with me when I found out and was so unbelievably supportive but we both knew that neither of us were ready. When walking to the clinic I remember breaking down in tears. When I entered the clinic room to carry out my process, I was so grateful to be welcomed by a very kind nurse who reassured me through the whole process. Whilst having my ultrasound I remember forcing myself not to look at the screen because I knew if I did the image would stick with me forever, and me being me I had to look, when the nurse asked if I’d like a copy of the ultrasound I said no – I had already seen everything and that image still remains in my mind to this day. Having an abortion was one of my most hardest life experiences, both mentally and physically and it took me a while to mentally overcome that time of my life. After this experience I remember dropping out of uni because mentally my head was not in the right space to concentrate on clinical neuroscience and I would always have the chance to go back to uni, instead me and my boyfriend went on holiday to Italy where we had the most fun and made some loving memories.

I remember telling other people about my abortion and I was shocked at the amount that had too in fact had an abortion and could also relate to my feeling and emotions and I felt somewhat at ease with my decision that I had made and that I was not in fact the worst person in the world. Although all the people that I had spoken to also felt relieved that they were not the only ones to go through this process and had not spoken about it before because of the backlash and judgement they may have received.

Last year in 2020 figures show that 209,917 people had an abortion, this statistic alone shows that you are not alone. It also makes me wonder how many more people are struggling with their thoughts or may not have any support system around them – which is why I hope this blog reaches those people and they can feel that they can reach out for help if they need it.

The aim of this blog is to not gain any sympathy whatsoever for myself but to in fact tell my story and influence other people in need of an abortion or people who have been through an abortion that who have their own story to not feel ashamed of their decision but to instead feel proud and embrace it. Whilst going through my process I wish I would have had someone tell me all these kind words because, you went through something really hard on your own – yes you could have had friends, family, partner etc, with you but, yourself and your body went through those changes and emotions alone and for that you are one strong individual. Many people who have been through this experience of abortion out there that will have their own story to tell and will have different reasons for why they went through with an abortion – all of those reasons not needing any justification at all. I just want to say that you are strong and you should not feel ashamed for your decision, and you will feel an array of emotions but the most important aspect to take from this is that you did what was best for you and that is all that matters. Be proud of who you are and the body you are in, you are one strong individual and abortion is normal!

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!