Abortion in lockdown

by Holly

May 4, 2020

Two weeks to the day I found out I was pregnant, following a drunken one night stand with a guy I didn’t know. I have never felt more alone than in the 10 days between finding out I was pregnant and receiving the abortion pills and despite the support of my best friend I am finding it difficult to articulate how I feel now the abortion is done. I am a single 20 year old with no money but lots of hope for what I want my future to be like. I doubt anybody wants to have an abortion but I wanted to be pregnant and have a child less, which left abortion as my only option. Having had the abortion I didn’t expect to feel that in some way it would always matter to me. The possibility of the child that disgusted me when I was pregnant, I now feel a fondness towards. But I absolutely don’t regret my decision and would make the same again. I guess my abortion will always matter because it is never ok to not be allowed the control of your own body and your own future. Through finding these stories I feel as if I have found a place where people truly understand and my feelings have been better articulated by others than by myself. I am also so incredibly grateful to the nhs for paying for my abortion and sending love to all those who find it difficult to access fundamental healthcare. The lockdown has made my experience even more lonely but I am so thankful that I was able to receive care.

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