I am 22 and I had an abortion at the beginning of a global pandemic. When I found out I was pregnant at the end of February I KNEW I was pregnant. I wasn’t experiencing pregnancy symptoms just yet, but my body didn’t feel like it normally did. My boyfriend thought I was overthinking and we both agreed the day I was supposed to get my period of it hadn’t came, I’d take a test. That day came and the test came out positive. I was in shock because it wasn’t my first pregnancy test, but it was my first positive pregnancy test. I cried. I immediately called my local planned parenthood and I wasn’t going to be able to get an appointment for two weeks later and I went with it. I found another abortion clinic and I got an appointment for Friday, I believe it was a Tuesday. I was nervous all week. Friday comes and me and my boyfriend drive to the clinic. We fill out paperwork and I finally get called back. I was told I was 2 or 3 weeks pregnant and they could BARLEY see the fetus through the vaginal ultrasound. We had to go back 2 weeks later to get a better look at things. We show up and they find the heartbeat. We were supposed to meet with the physician and was then told he was self quarantining because they were exposed to COVID-19 since it was the start of the pandemic. We go back in another week and I have my consultation alone since my boyfriend was no longer allowed into the clinic due to covid spiking in my state. We go back for the procedure the next day. I cried the whole drive. I cried out of fear (it was my first medical procedure ever), I cried over what could’ve been, I cried because I felt scared. I wanted to back out but I also knew I didn’t want a baby. It was a very confusing time.
I sucked it up, and walked in and my boyfriend said he’d wait on me. The wait for my procedure was excruciatingly long. It was my turn. I go in, they give me my meds. As they’re kicking in, I’m texting my boyfriend. It’s finally time. The physician comes in and the nurse who’s been at all my appointments. She holds my hand. Lets me squeeze her hand. Puts on calming yet empowering music. She speaks to me. Encourages me, talks me through the whole process. The forceps are in, the hardest part. I hear the low very quiet hum of the machine and it’s in done in what feels like 30 seconds. All the emotions, fears, and tears cried over what felt like nothing to me. I was in shock. I finally uncover my eyes and I see the nurse carry stuff out. That freaked me out. The physician tells me it’s over and that I did great. The nurse comes back. I get dressed and the nurse helps me to the recovery room. She hugs me and gives me snacks and some tea. It was over. I felt little to no pain. I was in shock at how physically painless it felt. My boyfriend picks me up and we go back to his place and I slept the remainder of the afternoon. We had only been dating for 5 months and I didn’t think we would make it through this. We did. We have now been together for 9 months. I’ve graduated college, landed a big girl job and now we just got our first apartment together and have been looking at engagement rings. We don’t regret our decision. It wasn’t an easy one for us to make, but it’s apart of our story. We’re not ashamed that we’ve had an abortion. It will always be a part of us. It has strengthened our relationship and our love for one another. We know that one day when we have kids we will be ready to be parents.
