First of all I am so grateful to have a safe place to unload my story.

Where do I begin…

…I had my 1st child at the age of 22. The 2nd was conceived through marital rape. (We were separated. I wanted a divorce, he did not.)

Some time went by, I started dating my best friend. My oldest was then 5 and youngest was 2. His children were 12 and 7. He wanted a baby. We talked about it and both decided to try. We had baby #5, i was 30 And we were DONE. I got on the pill… it didn’t work. When baby #5 was only 6 months old I was pregnant. We went to planned parenthood and I had the medical abortion. At that time I felt guilt.

I reached out to my religious family and was called a monster. I had the copper IUD inserted and life went on. I have rebuilt myself and felt like my body and mind were FINALLY my own.

I started to get signs of pregnancy in the sore nipples and nausea but ignored it because I believed the iud was protecting me.

I went to wipe one day and felt something weird.

I had a uterus prolapse. Which meant my iud moved…which meant when I went in to check it all out I was 7 weeks pregnant.

Now, I want to be very honest about my feelings so that if someone else is feeling guilt for feeling this way, you’re not alone.

I AM PISSED.

I feel like I FINALLY got my body back and I do not wish to host a fetus. I am 34 with 5 kids. ENOUGH is enough!

We were told about the pregnancy on Wednesday and have to wait until the following Tuesday just to get the IUD out. Idk if I will even get the abortion that day. In the mean time, I am gaining weight, sick, tired and anxious, and just want my uterus emptied so my life can go back to normal.

I will be getting a hysterectomy soon after.

Anyway. Best of luck ladies.

And don’t feel bad for wanting freedom in your life and with your own flesh and blood.