Abolish Abortion’s Stigmatization – My Pregnancy and Abortion Story

by Morgan

September 5, 2019


“Do you have any questions?” my surgeon asked me before the procedure began. Although I felt I had so many questions, my mind ran blank as I was stuck in the moment, so I just politely said “no”.


I tried to do my research about abortions the entire week before my appointment. Due to the harsh criticism women who had abortions face, it’s pretty uncommon to see many articles on personal experience as there should be. For such a safe, personal, and conventional procedure, abortions are frowned upon in modern society for the ignorant stigma it receives. People aren’t aware how beneficial and live-saving it is.


Therefore, I’m writing my own personal experience. I have pretty abrasive skin, so I can take any constructive criticism from anybody- even if people throw hate comments around just because they don’t “agree” with what I did. What I did is what I chose to do, which is how it should be. No one else should have a say in what I do with my own body.


For the benefit of the doubt, I let my boyfriend express his opinions about my decision, since technically he would have been the father of our child. When I first found out I was pregnant, he was completely against the idea of me aborting it, and automatically wanted to keep it. Although all of the cons weighed out the pros, he told me that he would “look at me differently” if I had gotten the abortion.


This scared me into thinking it was a good idea to keep it. After that, I truly tried to consider keeping it, assuming that maybe having a baby would be my motivation to live- since I currently struggle with depression and self-esteem issues. However, after weeks of not feeling myself yet feeling like shit, I quickly gave that idea up. My boyfriend also eventually started to agree with me once I started to cry over the pain I was in going through: the morning sickness, cramping, mood swings, and the pain of thinking about my future.


It wasn’t hard for him to change his opinion and support me regardless of my decision. Now, let me explain from start to finish; this is my pregnancy and abortion story.


My ignorance and immaturity proved to me that I was not ready to be a mother. My boyfriend and I had sex a countless number of times before we conceived, mostly without any form of birth control. That’s right. No condoms, no pills, no patches, no IUDs… nothing.


For some reason, my immature mind figured that I wasn’t going to get pregnant because I’ve had unprotected sex before. And I was clean; I didn’t have an STD and neither did my boyfriend, so I didn’t “care” in a way. It was that way of thinking which caused me to learn a very valuable lesson the hard way. That’s why I wanted to share my story with you- so you don’t have to make the same mistake I did in order to grow.


I first had a feeling I was pregnant the day before I was supposed to get my period: August 8th, 2019. I had work that day, but before work, I kept on vomiting. I vomited in a plastic bag on my way to work as I was driving (don’t worry, I pulled over to the side so that I wouldn’t get into an accident). Due to my financial struggles, I wasn’t planning on calling out of work because I desperately needed as much money as I could get. I showed up at work and not even 15 minutes into my shift I threw up again.


My manager respectfully sent me home, as to where I went over my boyfriend’s house so he could take care of me. I continued to threw up once more, which was the last time I threw up that day. I vomited a total of six times within the span of three hours, if I’m not mistaken.


My boyfriend kinda figured I was pregnant as well. He went out and bought a pregnancy test to confirm our suspicions.


I immediately took the first test for it to reveal that I was in fact pregnant. Because I was in denial, I didn’t want to jump to conclusions and I hoped that it was just a faulty test and that I was still going to get my period the next day or later on that week.


Each day past and still no period, but I experienced a lot of nausea. One thing that I have learned that when you’re pregnant, you feel morning sickness not just in the morning but for the entire day. I occasionally forced myself to throw up just to feel a temporary feeling of relief, just to feel nauseous again 20 minutes later. The only meal I had once a day each day was a piece of bread, because I felt too sick to consume anything else. I took the other pregnancy test (which obviously tested positive) the day my period was supposed to end to end my denial and focus on my options.


I looked up online multiple ways to cause a self-induced miscarriage. What foods would help miscarriages? Would punching myself in the stomach be effective? How can I do an at-home abortion?


All of those questions I tried finding answers to were very lethal to my own health. One thing anti-abortion believers don’t understand that if abortions become banned, there are going to be more deaths/injuries than there are going to be births- due to complications of people trying to abort the embryo themselves.


Before I was about to risk my own life just so I didn’t have to go through the humiliation of being nineteen and pregnant, and the emotional turmoil I’d go through while raising that baby in this heartless world, I wanted to see if my insurance would cover an abortion.


Thanks to my mom being unemployed and me supporting her by working a part-time, minimum wage job while also attending college full time, we have Medicaid- another thing the Trump Administration is trying to take away from people as unfortunate as me.


I called up the Cherry Hill Women’s Center in South Jersey and scheduled an appointment about 2 weeks after finding out I was pregnant. They gladly accepted my insurance full cost, and informed me all of the regulations I needed to follow before the procedure.


I was not allowed to eat food, gum, mints, or anything else eight hours prior. I was not allowed to drink three hours prior. I was not allowed to drink alcohol or use marijuana twenty four hours prior. I had to bring my ID, insurance card, and an escort to drive me home after the procedure. Before scheduling this appointment, I did little research on abortions and some websites said that if I were less than nine weeks pregnant, then I wouldn’t have to undergo surgery but an abortion pill (or medicated abortion) was an option.


However, I found out that they were going to use the aspiration abortion method and they asked me if I would rather have my cervix numbed but still be awake and conscious, or undergo anesthesia and not be awake for any of it. I chose the anesthesia option mainly because I didn’t want to risk feeling any of the pain and discomfort it would have came with.


My appointment was at 7:45 AM on August 27th, 2019. When my boyfriend (who was escorting me) and I arrived, there was a security guard at the door to check our ID’s. I assume it’s to ensure safety from any protesters- which I fortunately didn’t witness at all the entire time I was there. My boyfriend, however, told me that there were quite a few as he walked in and out of the waiting room while running some errands. I filled out the required paperwork, and proceeded to wait in the lobby for about an hour and a half before being called back the first time.


The first time they call you back, you receive an ultrasound to see how many weeks pregnant, and they prick your finger for blood to check your blood type and if you have anemia. I was only six weeks and three days pregnant. Luckily, I was healthy and they sent me back to the lobby where I waited another hour and a half before getting called back again.


The second time they call you back, they go over your medical history and make sure that you’re completely aware of your decision. I asked if I could be put on birth control immediately after, which they prescribed to my pharmacy as well as ibuprofen, knowing that I was going to experience discomfort after the procedure. I was also informed about how the surgery was going to plan out, and asked if I had any questions. I politely said no; even though I wanted to ask questions, I didn’t know what to ask. I then proceeded to sit back out in the lobby and wait another thirty minutes before getting called back for the last time. My appointment took roughly around four and a half hours total.


They gave me a bag that had a hair net, hospital gown, and these hair net-like things that you put over your feet. I was told to take absolutely every article of clothing and jewelry off, and put everything in the bag and that I would change back once I was done with recovery.


The procedure itself took no longer than ten minutes. They hooked up oxygen tubes from my nose to the tank, an IV to insert the anesthetics, heart monitors and a finger-pulse to make sure my heartbeat was normal during surgery. They told me what exactly was going to happen: they were taking a clamp to open my vagina after numbing it, as well as a vacuum-like tube to suck the embryo and any remaining blood from the cervix, and then wheel me into the recovery room which is where I woke up.


And before I fell asleep, the doctors and nurses ensured my safety with zero judgement. They made me feel comfortable in a room full of strangers. I’ve never felt so grateful for their talents, and I definitely want to thank all of the staff at the CHWC.


After waking up, I felt a little dizzy and I started to feel cramping immediately, but they put a gel-heating pad on me which helped temporarily. It wasn’t long before they allowed me to get changed and leave the hospital. My boyfriend drove us back to his house where I took a nap on his couch to counteract the extreme nausea and cramping I was enduring. Once I woke up from that, however, I felt completely fine. Although it was encouraged to not drive up to 24 hours after the procedure, I drove home without any complications and continued my day as if nothing even happened.


Bleeding did occur, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. In fact, it was lighter than the bleeding I normally endure during periods. Once arriving back at home, I felt completely normal but I decided to relax and take it easy for the rest of the day.


The common misconception behind abortions are that they “kill babies”. To factually counteract that argument, it isn’t “killing” if there is no alive-being. Up to nine weeks, the egg is formed into a clump of cells, or an embryo. There is no breathing, there is no heartbeat, there is no brain or consciousness. The main reason why people can’t remember the memories made in their mother’s womb is because they were not technically “living”. It isn’t murder if the action of removal isn’t taking what’s alive.


Not to mention, it shouldn’t be anyone’s concern anyway. It’s nobody’s business. People should focus on the hundreds of thousands of children in foster-care adoption centers currently, instead of encouraging to add more children into that system.


The reason I’m publishing this article is to empower the silent voices of abortion patients globally. It is nothing to be ashamed of; it is nothing to fear. Regardless of your age, race, or religion, it doesn’t devalue you as a person, nor does it devalue your emotions. Most women feel as though they “should” feel guilty, but nobody should feel guilty over what they think is the best option. No one should feel guilty for their mistakes, as mistakes are a way of learning.


As a young woman myself, I believe that this was the best option for me. I want you, regardless if you’re fifteen or thirty, Caucasian or African-American, or even Atheist or Christian, what you do with your body will forever be your own choice.


Don’t let the ignorance of protesters and the fear of judgement influence your decision.

The reason why I am publishing this article is to remind you that you are indeed not alone.


There aren’t many articles like this one, which is why I’m hoping this becomes a breakthrough in many lives, and inspires others to share their own story.


Because it was so hard for me to find personal stories behind many women’s abortions, I felt like I was going in this alone. In reality, though, every one in four women get an abortion in the United States alone. It’s much more common than anyone realizes.


I hope this article enhances the normality of abortions in general, and that it’s not shameful to put yourself first.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!