A light at the end of the tunnel

by Cheyenne

February 20, 2020

One night after having a fever for two days and feeling weak, tired and freezing I had a sharp stabbing pain come over my whole body while I was trying to use the porcelain crown. I thought this must be an ovarian cyst rupture but then the pins and needles stabbing pain went through my whole body and I went to the floor into the fetal position started sweating bullets, stripped my clothes and the crawled to the shower. The water temp was like warm if that and I sat there got 30 minutes breathing slow and in pain.

Here comes the back story: I ended my period at the end of December, I started my new birth control pack three days later, took the first pill that day then slept with my ex of course after almost a year of not seeing him, that night I just wanted some fun. Fast forward to 4 weeks later I didn’t get my period when I ended my back, I wondered if I was pregnant but said no way and went onto a new pack, three days later I had the pain. So the next day after that terrible night I still felt sick all day and thought if this was a cyst rupture I should be okay now, I wasn’t able to eat much that was a big tell tale for me because I can eat. Luckily I got in with my doctor at our clinic and we did a pregnancy test just in case and boom she said positive.

The white drained from my face she said did you hear me I said yes she said are you okay I said no and cried. She assured me of myself and said I had options she’d do an ultrasound the next to day to see if the pregnancy was viable since I had that pain. So I talked with the child’s father that night we both agreed abortion, neither of us have the finances or live in a space big enough for a kid also he lives an hour away up the trail so then there’s that. Also we weren’t going to be together we’d be separated parents from the beginning how awful for the child. We agreed he agreed to pay for half and supported me listened to me and was there. I have the ultrasound see I’m 5 weeks and there was no heartbeat yet it was too early. That honestly helped me emotional detach but it also made it so real that I got pregnant using birth control.

Fast forward I find out I have to drive two hours away to a bigger town to have the abortion of course our small clinic doesn’t do that. I make my appointment at the women’s health clinic and find out my insurance doesn’t cover abortion go figure, the clinic was so hopeful – the woman I spoke with knew I was freaking out after she told me the cost was 700$ and I had to pay in full, I had asked to make payments and no go. She then says we have a hot dish fund ask me questions. I tell her I’m a special education para and make 24,000 a year and how I got pregnant on birth control etc.. so she says I’m just going to put you down for 200$ out of the hot dish fund and I was so thankful.

She then tells me reach out to Our Justice and they help with funding as well she told me fill out the form right now online. I did received an email back the next day and they pledged 150$ so my abortion went from 700$ to 350$ I was so relieved and grateful for these programs in place. So my best friend drives me down to the clinic at the crack of dawn she’s amazing and it was snowing a little. The clinic was amazing, I filled out forms, everything was explained so clearly they made sure I was comfortable. The staff was amazingly sweet and they had beverages, coloring books, colored pencils, snacks, journals of other experiences, blankets all in the waiting room in the back. It was amazing to me how kind this place was to women and treated us like normal human beings because abortion should be normal it should be a woman’s choice.

The doctor explained everything to me, had my ultrasound, labs, got my pills and went home. They also prescribed me 4 pain killers and 6 nausea pills for the next day after taking the first pill when the uterus is cleaned out. My experience with my abortion had supportive people and was way less stressful than I figured but still stressful. I wanted to share my positive experience and let women know about the wonderful programs and support your doctors, clinics, friends, some family and your boss if you have that relationship could be a support team for you.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!