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A Big and Little Thing

by Roberta

August 18, 2018

I am two weeks away from my second abortion. It’s been 14 months since the last one.  Contraception has failed me again and I feel like I have fertility as my unwanted superpower. I have two children, they are the most important people in my life, but we do not want anymore, sure I get broody from time to time, in a ‘I miss baby cuddles’ kind of a way, but we do not have the space, time, money or energy to have anymore.

This feels like a big thing and a little thing at the same time, something that I don’t need to feel ashamed about, but something I also can’t discuss openly. I feel guilty towards all those who have suffered miscarriages or have struggled to get pregnant, as irrational as that might be. I am angry about all the rules and restrictions. I want to be able to tell other women who might be in the same boat, that it’s okay and nothing to be scared off, I want to know that other women have been in my situation too and share how we feel.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to vocalize some of how I am feeling.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!