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5.

by Amy

July 15, 2019

I feel fortunate to live in a country where my reproductive rights are protected. Where I am at liberty to make a decision that is right for me and no one else but me.

 

At the age of 15 I discovered I was pregnant. I remember speaking with a young female doctor who had a new practice and eager to provide the best care for her patients.  She shared with me my options, parenthood, adoption, and abortion.  She helped me to understand that it was my decision to make regardless of what family or friends had told me. She empowered me and gave me the confidence needed to make the decision that was right for me and to have an abortion. I remember feeling scared and ashamed. I remember not wanting anyone to find out what I had done. I remember feeling sick and nauseous and having to miss lots of school.  And I remember wondering for many years if I made the right decision.

 

Fast forward 19 years and I’m 8 months pregnant with my third daughter. As I’m walking through a busy mall, I see groups upon groups of young kids wearing Pro Life T-Shirts, I was in shock that such a young group of children were part of a ProLife March. I felt disgusted, then I felt angry. Very angry. I thought back to when I was 15 and how if I saw that protest, I may not have had the strength to make the decision I did. I felt worried for so many young girls out there that may be be in those same shoes and see this “March” “protest” and end up making a decision that was based off guilt or feeling ashamed.

 

19 years later and it felt like I was that 15 year old girl all over again. I felt so much anger for the women who were/are made to feel a certain way about a decision made that was right for them.

 

Fast forward 4 years to when I am 38, a mother of 3. I woke up one morning and didn’t feel right. I knew I was pregnant, again. With all the measures we were taking to prevent pregnancy, I ended up pregnant, again. I knew we didn’t want any more children. I knew my body couldn’t do it again. I thought up all the reasons why I didn’t want this pregnancy and then stopped. I thought back to the protest I saw, how angry I felt for others who had to make a decision and felt pressure. I realized then that if I didn’t want this pregnancy, why was I trying to convince myself it was ok to have another abortion? It was at that moment when I truly realized the impact society has on the choices we make.

I am 42, I have 3 daughters and have had 2 abortions and that is okay. I am okay.

My body, My right, My choice.

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