35 with our sh*t together, and still not ready for parenthood

by Anon

November 8, 2021

I drunkenly fell into bed with a male friend. The idea of using protection didn’t even cross our minds. We’re both in our mid-thirties and have friends who are struggling with fertility, so maybe this lulled us into a false sense of security. Skip forward a few weeks, and I missed my period. I only took a test to set my mind at ease, so was shocked when that second blue line appeared. Almost instantly, I knew I wanted an abortion. I spoke to the father and he agreed wholeheartedly. I’d like to say “we couldn’t have the baby because of XY and Z reasons” but we’re both high-earning professionals who own our own homes and cars. Basically, we’re the picture of responsibility. We could have made it work if we wanted to. We just… really didn’t want to.

I don’t feel guilty in the slightest. It was definitely the right thing to do, and because of the current at-home abortion provision in the UK there was very little stress. I had my phone consultation in the morning, picked up the pills in the afternoon and was able to self-administer the abortion at the weekend surrounded by friends, snacks, and Netflix.

What shocks me about Texas is that I was only 7 days late. Most pregnancy tests won’t show positive until 5 days after a missed period. I was technically 5 weeks pregnant when I found out and, even though we acted quickly, I would have been over 6 weeks by the time I had my abortion. There’s no time for discussion or nuance. If either of us was undecided, the time constraints would have forced our hands. It’s cruel and crazy.

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