2x a Lady

by Clementina

February 1, 2022

I had to have two abortions within 6 months. The first was the abortion pill and then after that, as I tried to figure out a better form of contraception, I got pregnant again. My health insurance wasn’t the best, my work schedule was long stressful hours, and it took months to get to a doctor for an IUD.

My partner at the time was addicted to cocaine. He was a lovely person and treated me well, but had a lot of problems and wasn’t very responsible. The second time I found out I was pregnant was the day before Christmas Eve. I couldn’t even call a clinic until after the new year, so I ended up having to get the surgical abortion. I chose to terminate those pregnancies with no doubt in my mind. I grieved the loss of the life within me, but I knew I could not raise a baby with this man. If I hadn’t had both abortions, I never would have finished grad school and I would be in custody battles with the father.

I could not fathom bringing a child into this world unwanted or with parents unprepared to care for them. I also have health problems and a small stature and I was honestly afraid that giving birth would cause permanent bodily dysfunction for me. One of my best friends almost died in childbirth. Other friends of mine have experienced serious complications with pregnancy and delivery. I also have a friend who grew up in foster care and I saw how truly difficult it was for them to live in a world knowing they were not welcome. I didn’t choose abortion because I hate babies. I love babies and children and have been both a teacher and a nanny for over 8 years. I chose abortion for my health and the health of future generations who will be impacted by the decisions made by their parents and the intentions behind them. I cannot be mindlessly thrust into parenthood, as I believe it is far more damaging to the collective community to birth a child without conscience than for a mother to choose to live her life on her own terms.

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