by Anonymous

November 1, 2021

Content Warning: coercion, mention of suicide

The day I found out I was pregnant was the day my life began to fall apart.

I had recently broke up with my boyfriend. The relationship was toxic, I gave more than I received. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, he stated I would get an abortion. No remorse in regarding my feelings. He didn’t want me to tell my mom in fear of me changing my feelings. I still told her. The moment I asked for space so I could make sure I was doing this for myself, he said he would kill himself if I didn’t get the abortion.

The amount of pain that caused me. The amount of guilt.

I blocked him on everything. I did the abortion. It was the best thing to do for me, I wasn’t ready for a baby. I have always told myself that if I were ever pregnant, I would give my baby everything. And I couldn’t. I would never want to bring a baby into this world knowing I couldn’t give them everything that I wanted to give them.

To my angel baby, you were never a mistake. I just wasn’t ready. I hope you could forgive me.

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