The first time I got pregnant I was scared. I’m 17, still a child. I always believed abortions were wrong. I’m a Muslim, my mum always told me that abortions are wrong, sex in Islam before marriage is forbidden. Me and him weren’t together, it was just sex.
I had doubts of keeping it and having an abortion. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted the pregnancy symptoms to stop, I was alone, he didn’t care, he wanted it gone. I have dreams of going to university and studying law. I thought if I had a baby then I wouldn’t be able to do that. He wasn’t the right one for me.
I decided to have an abortion after many doubts. I had a medical abortion.
Months later, I found out that I was pregnant again, with the same guy. I didn’t believe it. I didn’t think I would get pregnant that quick again.
This time I thought maybe its meant to happen? Again? Maybe I am the one who’s going to have his baby. Again, I was scared. I saw changes in my body. I’m not ready to be a mum. The idea of me having a child made me feel weird. It felt unreal.
After a lot of thought, I decided to have a medical abortion again. It’s been 3 weeks. I feel relief but then I feel empty. I feel stronger, like I can do what I want with my body. I can have a baby when I’m ready to with the right guy. There are times when I feel like I wish I was still pregnant.
I do hope to have babies one day. I have two angels watching over me. I will make them proud.
Right now, I want to focus on myself and my dreams. Abortions are okay. Do what is best for you.
