In 2015 I had a wonderful boy at the age of 20.

In early 2017 I had an abortion. Not because I couldn’t afford another child but because I didn’t know what to do with another child, given the fact that I had just started a new job and I was constantly sick.

In late 2017 I had another abortion in which I’m not even sure what my reasons were but I just thought it wasn’t a right time to go through with it.

Now I sit here laying in bed each night, pregnant not knowing what to do. I don’t want another kid but part of me feels ashamed if I have another abortion. But the thought of having another child while going through job promotion, difficult time at my sons school and overall just stress in life, I don’t know if I am ready for another one.

My partner of 6 years doesn’t seem to care with whatever choice is made, meanwhile I cannot sleep.

Should I, should I not? I mean if I’m thinking of it, the answer is in front of me. Given I’ve had 2 abortions in the past, I know the process, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for it or ready for another child.

I am so thankful that I can even have these thoughts though. Need to make up my mind.