even if it was going against all my family's beliefs I had to do what was best for me.
I was 18 years old and it was summer, during a global pandemic. I come from a family with strict backgrounds of no sex before marriage, so you could imagine the beliefs towards abortions from my own family. My boyfriend and I had been together for about five months and had protected sex regularly, as well as unprotected maybe 3 times. About 2 months into summer I realized my period had not come and was a month late, I pushed it off at the beginning thinking I was just irregular but then I thought to myself I better check. I went home and took the test thinking nothing of it and the results broke my heart. It was positive.
I had no idea how to go about doing things and the first thing I did was call my best friend, not even my boyfriend as I didn’t know how to tell him. She tried to calm me down but I was broken. I was scared and felt so alone. I called him and told him and immediately he started crying and saying how much he loved me and would support my decision no matter what. That night I went to bed knowing there was no way I could support a child, I was 18 and living at home going into my second year of university. I had no strong savings expect for my education and a car I had.
The next morning I immediately called the doctor and was told about my options, going in for the blood test I thought everyone around me was judging me when in reality they weren’t, my anxiety was through the roof. The next day positive results were given and my doctor let me know of my options, I knew already what to choose even if it was going against all my family’s beliefs I had to do what was best for me. I chose to take the abortion pill, I went home and my mom knew something was up. She came into my room and kept asking what was going on, until I broke down, that is when she told me everything would be okay and I would get through this stronger than ever. I laid in bed that night and took the pills, in extreme discomfort for what felt like three days.
A week later I was told to get bloodwork done to ensure everything was okay, however I got a call the next day to go to the hospital immediately as something was off. After being rushed to the emergency room I was sent for tests and finally the results came back, tissue was left inside my stomach and needed to be removed ASAP. This meant having a D and C procedure done. It all happened so fast that now is a blur, I just remember being so scared and alone because of the pandemic I was not allowed anyone with me. However I can thank my best friend, boyfriend, and mom for supporting me to the best of their abilities.
I waited what felt like forever to have the surgery done, and when I woke up I was broken and felt relief. I had no idea how to go about doing daily things without thinking about it, however deep down I was okay and relieved. My pain was quite tolerable and about two weeks later I was feeling strength grow, slowly.
It has now been 6 months and I am still recovering through the emotional trauma. Physically I am okay and no issues has happened, I have an iud and do not want to have sex. Me and my boyfriend are still together and growing strong together. I am working through my battle yet the sadness is always there, however there is one thing I will always say. I never thought it would happen to me, yet when it did I knew I was making the decision that was best for me. Not for who was around me. Not for anyone else. For me.
My journey through this leaves a battle wound in my heart however it is a work in progress to the emotional trauma.
Having an abortion ultimately helped me be okay, even if the people around you may not support you, do what is best for you.
