A few months ago, I found out I was pregnant as my period hadn’t come and I decided to take multiple pregnancy tests. I was shocked, I wasn’t expecting it. I felt mixed emotions, and I struggled to make the choice.

The reason I struggled is because for so long I struggled with the stigma with mental health issues and autism, and I started overcoming that and seeing I could do things, including maybe having a child one day.

But I know I wasn’t able to look after a child or have the support network. I didn’t really want the child deep down, I was clouded by the fact that my best friend recently had a baby and I felt like I was gonna be a murderer. My mental health was declining and I knew I had to go through with the abortion, and a week and a half later, I was having an abortion at home.

I still struggle to come to terms with it at times, due to the fact that I still feel like a murderer. But I got the chance to live and do what I want to do to make my future better. To help myself grow and do what’s best for me.

A part of me grieves I guess? Is that even possible? But I know I made the right choice in the long run.

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