I’ve always been on the side of pro-choice. I’ve always believed in abortion being legal and accepted, but always did so with the thought of ‘I’d never have to have one though’. I never thought it would happen to me…. until it did.

I was overwhelmed when that positive test came up and didn’t even hesitate to make the call to inquire about a termination. I knew it’s what I wanted and I knew my boyfriend did too. I was so early that I had to wait two weeks to even get an ultrasound to confirm. The not knowing in those two weeks was the worst part. It was agonising to have to wait so long. In that time, I started to get pregnancy symptoms and all I could think was ‘is this designed to torture me’. I had to keep it secret from everyone but my boyfriend because I don’t have anyone who would understand or keep my secret. I couldn’t risk it getting back to my family who are openly anti-abortion. Spending those weeks around everyone was the worst part. The fear of judgement made me paranoid and insecure. I was an anxious mess.

I had a lot of anxiety leading up to my termination, but never once did I have a doubt that it’s what I wanted to do. I mulled it over a million times and always came to the same conclusion. I didn’t feel bad about my decision to terminate, I only felt bad about the judgement I might receive. I never felt like I had to justify my decision to myself, but knew that if anyone found out that I’d have to, so I made a mental list of all the reasons for it.

It was the loneliest experience of my life solely because I couldn’t turn to anyone due to their ‘political opinions’. I wish I could tell them what their harsh stance does to people. How it isolates them and make this entire process so much harder.