We could have been okay, instead we are happy

by SRJ

January 10, 2020

I was 24, had been in a happy relationship with my partner for 4 years, and still would have graduated college. I was on birth control. I cried in despair when the test was positive. My partner was supportive of whatever decision I made, he said we’d figure it out and would make it through it. We would be okay. I was sure a relationship could never survive an abortion, but could it survive a child we weren’t ready for?!  Ultimately, I did not want to be at my child’s first (or 15th) birthday party remembering how unhappy I was to find out I was pregnant. Initially I decided I’d only do it if I could have the medication abortion. Armed with more information, I ultimately decided the surgical route was the way to go for me. I was less than 6 weeks pregnant. My partner held my hand through the procedure. The only thing I remember is him gently helping me pull up my pad-lined underwear. I went to my summer classes and work the next day.

I am now 34; I have the most incredible children (27 month old daughter and 8 week old son) with the same amazing partner I have been with since the age of 20. I not only completed undergrad, but graduate school as well (as a first generation student). We have good jobs with great benefits, own our home, have a blissful and fulfilling marriage, and ADORE being parents because we were able to become parents when we were really ready.  The only thing we don’t have is regrets. If we had not terminated our first pregnancy we would have been okay. Instead, we are thriving.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!