I decided that I wanted to do share with anyone reading what it feels like 2 years on.
I shared my story before here on SYA when my experience was fresh and raw. Now these are my thoughts collectively 2 years after.
I have forgotten about you, and moved on.
I am sorry peanut. I really did think long and hard about you. I will never have any regrets, but the act itself made me feel cold for a long time afterwards. Especially towards males.
I sometimes think how I would have coped with 2 under 3 , and doing it alone. I know, going through therapy now to work through my PPA, PPD, autism and ADHD that I would most likely find it extremely difficult. There have been times I have deliberately injured myself just to have a break with the child I have already. I feel lonely and like no one actually helps. I work, so that gives me a bit of drive for my family which consists of me and my daughter. Other than that I feel like my life has completely gone downhill since my daughter was born. I am losing my identity. I am letting myself go and am the biggest I have ever been. I am working thru these things slowly. Having my termination of my second pregnancy has changed my life in so many ways but mostly enforced I am One and Done. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world.
