The Right Decision

I was 42 years old, married, with one amazing kid. I have always wanted more kids, but the timing was never right and my husband was never enthusiastic about it. When I found out I was pregnant, I was a bit happy, yet scared because my marriage was not going well. I told him that if we have this baby I don’t think this marriage will survive. I half expected that he would reassure me, tell me that we’ll work hard on our marriage, to create a solid foundation for another child. Instead, he said he doesn’t want another kid and preferred that I get an abortion. So I chose a broken marriage over a baby. So I got an abortion. The procedure was easy, but I felt alone. And to make matters worst, my insurance kept making excuses why they didn’t want to pay, even though they had to. It took over a year for them to finally pay. That part actually made me feel ashamed, which in turn, made me angry. Every woman should be able to make this choice without shame. I’m now divorced, happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I truly didn’t think it was possible to be so deeply happy. And I’ll be honest, I still feel sadness with that loss, and I’m dealing with it through therapy and time, but this happiness couldn’t have happened with another child. I see that now.