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The lucky one

by Trisha

July 26, 2018

Content Warning: partner abuse

I was young and naive. I always knew I never wanted kids but by the time I found out I was pregnant it was too late. I was already 16 weeks pregnant with someone I was with for only three months and broke up with. It was too late then for an abortion, my heart sank and I had suicidal thoughts. Eventually my grandmother calmed me down and promised to help. Shortly thereafter she passed away and I was alone. The father Melvin, was the only person I had so I went back to him and we started over. Months later my baby girl was born and the abuse also started. Melvin physically abused me and I never wanted to be a mother. So I got depressed and couldn’t handle my own child. Only God knows how I made it through the first year. I have no memories of mothering and today my daughter is 9 but I still struggle. Broke up with Melvin when she turned 2. And met someone else. My daughter was seven by that time.

We were together for over a year before getting intimate and as soon as I fell pregnant he told me he was married and my first option was abortion. I didn’t think twice doing it because I didn’t wanna suffer the same way I did with my first born and a year later I fell pregnant again and I had a second abortion without thinking twice and the second time was easier than my first. I have no regrets. I have a daughter and I love her but I was never gonna have more kids. She is the lucky one because of my grandmother.

Make the choice that’s best for you.

 

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