Stuck Between A Rock & A Hard Place

by Anonymous

October 6, 2020

I am a 24 year old single mom to a 4 year old boy and taking care of everything by myself when it comes to my son is very difficult. There is no help from his dad, so when I found out i was pregnant again Jan 2020 I panicked and I was confused. I did not know what to think or how to feel. My partner is 29, we have known each other for awhile & the first time we get intimate I wind up pregnant. When I broke the news to him he was so excited but I didn’t have the same joy. Actually I was just confused.

Being pregnant recently scared me because I remembered all the pain and heartache my son’s father put me through. That pregnancy was hell & I was more than unhappy. I expressed my concerns to my partner that I might not keep the baby because back in Jan 2020 I was working two jobs, going to school full time and I already was struggling. Working two jobs was a lot for me and I just could not see myself being pregnant when I already was doing everything by myself with my son. However, I went to planned parenthood twice – the first time I walked out and told myself I was going to keep my baby, then as the days went by that thought changed. So I scheduled another appointment & went through with it.

I proceeded with a medical abortion in February and then cut all ties off with my partner. Unfortunately in June I wind up pregnant again and this time I got rid of it because I was going back & forth between my partner whom I was pregnant for in January & then someone new. I could not fathom going through 9 months of having to decide whose baby this is. So in June 2020 I had another medical abortion done and both abortions were done at 6 weeks.

Now fast forward to September 2020 – my partner from January we are now living together and we are serious and he is determined to have another baby. He really wants a baby and I’m still scared. With all of that said and done I am concerned now I won’t be able to have another one because I did too much this year but if it’s anything I’m happy with I did what was best for me. I made the decision that was right at the moment and that’s all that matters . Only You know what is best for you.

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