SOMEDAY. BUT NOT TODAY.

I remember walking in to my appointment on the day of with protestors outside screaming profanities at me behind the picket line. It was like a scene from a movie. I was 23. I had just landed my first career-job and was making strides. My boyfriend and I were traveling and being young–and clearly dumb. The entire situation was not nearly as nerve racking as everyone on the internet makes it sound, and I wish I had known that. I felt at home, warm, and peaceful immediately afterwards. Flash forward to almost a year later and I woke up with that stupid feeling and missed it again…. I know what decision I need to make, because I am not ready. I graduate college next year and I am so close to finishing my degree and applying to masters schools. I talked to my boyfriend and he agreed, and we both agreed that someday, I will be ready. Today is not that day.